As a single mom, I have always put my children’s needs before my own. My daughter is pursuing her bachelor’s degree at Texas Southern University and she’ll be graduating this May. My son is a sophomore in high school who plays football, runs track, and is an extremely active guy — he keeps me on my toes every day.
I learned about WANDA through the voluntary Section 8 Escrow Account Program that I signed up for. I meet with an advisor once a month for credit counseling, and they told me about WANDA and encouraged me to apply. I was accepted into Cohort 16 originally, but shortly after joining, my health took a turn for the worse and I had to exit the program prematurely. However, since I was in good standing with WANDA, I was eligible to return and rejoin as a member of Cohort 17. Things are looking good and my health is stable, so I’m excited to actually complete the program the second time around.
I absolutely love the online classes – it’s so convenient. Especially if I have to go to the hospital for treatment, I can log on and still be able to participate. We are able to explore the topics that we’re learning and then we have time to share what we’re going through. WANDA and the community of single moms just makes me feel like I actually belong somewhere.
For years, I thought that it was only my family that might have been dysfunctional and that we don’t do things the traditional way. For example, it seems like members of my family aren’t able to buy a home until they’re in their 50s and 60s, versus their 20s and 30s. So to find this community and feel like I belong… It definitely makes me feel like I’m not alone in this world outside of my nuclear family.
From what I’ve learned thus far, a lot of us struggle with making a budget and sticking to it, which I know can be hard, especially as a single mother. My biggest challenge is this internal tug of war with myself, and having that “mom guilt”: Am I doing enough? Am I providing enough? Is this going to be okay? I always put myself on the back burner. And actually hearing other moms that go through those same ordeals during the same time period is validating.
Also, this group holds me accountable. I can easily fall into my old ways of procrastinating for as long as possible. But these women have held me accountable, where I can no longer ignore my crap. I actually have to put it to the forefront. If I have a goal of saving $100 a month or buying my home or finishing my college or whatever the case may be, these women call me out: “Hey, Shaneice, last month, you said you’re going to do this, this, and this. How did it go?” Now, I’m faced with the accountability: “Yep, I did say that. Thank you for asking, and because I didn’t do it, I now have to do it.” I know that come next session, you’re going to ask me again, and I can’t keep using the same excuse as to why I didn’t do it. I can’t hide anymore.
We have a minimum and a maximum that we’re allotted each month to contribute to our WANDA account. I had always tended towards the minimum side. During one of our sessions, we broke off into individual groups and I shared how I want to be closer to the higher end, the maximum contribution when I can. The next month, one of the moms from my breakout group asked: “Hey, Shaneice, were you able to up your amount this month?” And I thought to myself, “I did say I was going to do that and I didn’t.” Life gets busy and sometimes it gets complicated, but right then I put it in my calendar to put $100 into my WANDA program savings account each month. I’m proud that now, without even thinking twice about it, this is a commitment I’m going to stick to. And, it’s helping! As of Friday, since I was a federal worker still on probation, I was just let go. But thanks to my proactive saving habits, I don’t have to stress because I’ve started to over-contribute. Thanks to WANDA, I’m able to plan ahead and feel secure, especially when you don’t know what life is going to bring.
And you know what, I’m not even that upset by it. The old me would have been crying, depressed, and probably rescheduled this interview. On Friday, I felt every and all emotions I needed to feel. Saturday, I was still a little numb, but I was like, okay, I can talk about it now. Sunday, I made a plan and just got to work. I updated my resume. I reached out to an old employer. I applied for my unemployment benefits. I’m going to be okay. I strongly believe that this is a small step back for a major setup.
WANDA has taught me to look at money differently. Growing up, I wasn’t raised to save. We were taught that the minute you get it in your hand, you have to run to the store and go spend it. Unfortunately, my grandparents were probably the last generation in my family to own a home and to own and operate businesses. I grew up in a household with abuse and addiction, and so I set the precedent for my children to break those cycles. And even though I’m not in the home buying phase just yet, it’s on the vision board. It’s in the future and it’s coming.
I even switched from banking with just a regular banking institution to now banking at a credit union. This has allowed me to start to save on those monthly fees here and there that I wasn’t even looking at. As I look at past banking statements, I was just giving Bank of America $30 here, $25 here, $40 here, and didn’t even think twice about it. Now, that $30 or $40 is to stay in my checking account or in my savings account — I love it.
My son is a lot like me when I was a kid – when he gets money in his hand, he feels like he has to spend it. But lately, within the last month or so, he’s been giving me the money he’s earned from little odd jobs for me to save for him. When he first did this I thought, “Whoa, where’s this coming from?” But he even said, “Hey, Mom, what you said was true. When I look back and remember the $100 I got from grandma for my birthday, before I blinked, it was gone, and I could have held on to it.” I have to remind myself that sometimes my kids do listen to what I say.
My goal is split between home ownership and college education. When I first joined Cohort 16, my goal was solely home ownership, but now in Cohort 17, I realized that I can start contributing to my son’s college fund as well. It may not be a whole lot, because we’re starting late, but something’s better than nothing.
Of course, I want to own a home. I know that you have to have money for the down payment and closing costs, but WANDA has really dove into the details and explained what that process entails. It’s blowing my mind! All the little things, behind the scenes that nobody ever thinks about. When you hear that this is the American dream, how can you achieve it when no one is telling you how to get there? WANDA is breaking down the processes and laying out the steps to home ownership. We know we have to have credit, but no one explains why you need to have good credit. WANDA is. You hear about college funds, but no one is sharing the comparisons on which one is the better choice. WANDA is.
The things that I wish I knew years ago… but I’m not mad because I’m learning it now. I can pass that knowledge on to my own children, so they don’t make and repeat the same mistakes that I make. They can make better decisions for their futures, so that we don’t keep repeating the same cycle.
In three years, I hope to be back in a role where I don’t have to worry about being fired just because I’m a probationary employee. My five year goal is to definitely own a home, probably out of state. Hopefully, in 10 years, I’ll be thinking about where I’m going to retire and what I’m going to do for those first few months where I don’t have to get up at four o’clock in the morning anymore.
I do want to go back and finish my bachelor’s degree in psychology at San Jose State University, especially since I’m so close – I have a year and a half left to go. Truthfully, I put it on the back burner so that my daughter can finish her college education. She’s been my inspiration to finish. I need to just knock it out and get it done.
I tell all single moms that I come across to apply to WANDA. I try to give them as much information about the program as I possibly can, and direct them to the website. I’m always plugging WANDA.